In my house,you can see a cat,and the cat is very let me draw it for has got white hair and tow big are blue and has got four short ears are small,and her tail is long.I finish it lovely! After school,I play with her at first,and she is my best friend.I like her very much! you want to know her name?I'd like to tell you,and her name is"mimi".
修改后：
In my house, you can see a cat which is very beautiful. Now let me draw it for you. She has got white hair and two big eyes. They are blue and bright. She has got four short legs. Her ears are small and her tail is long. I finish it now. How lovely! After school, I often play with her, and she is my best friend. I like her very much! Do you want to know her name? I'd like to tell you, and her name is "Mimi".
修改老师：Crystal老师
六年级:邵婧